Evening Rain

     The rain was light; so light that I didn’t realize that it was even raining until I stepped outside.  The heavy canopy of oak, hickory and ash above my head let little rain through.  If I wanted to keep perfectly dry, I could just step up near a tree. I didn’t.  I stood sensing what warm gentle rain penetrated the canopy and fell on my bare bald head.  I felt small and insignificant standing in the dark among these giants, yet I felt safe.  It’s been too many years since I was a child to actually remember, but I can imagine that this is how a child feels standing with a parent among a group of adults all towering above you. There is a safety; an awe of the giant figures around you.  I could almost imagine a great oak reaching down with a great branch to hold my hand or pat my head.  I could just make out the trail ahead of me. A light cream ribbon on a black background.  The air was heavy with heat and humidity.  It had been insufferably hot and humid throughout the day with 100% humidity without raining. That’s normal for this part of the country.  For some reason I felt compelled to move forward, deeper among the trees along the narrow path that was both my escape to the bosom of the hollow and my return to the chaotic world I find so repulsive.  For a fleeting moment I could pretend that the path would lead me to freedom but I knew that it looped through the hollow and bring me back to where I started. There really was no escape.  Oh, if only there was some escape.  To walk into the wilderness and forever leave the oppressive capitalism, the religious bigotry, the racism, and all of the evils of homo sapiens behind.  As I said in an essay, “Nature will not lie to you to gain a convert, get a vote or make a buck. Nature will generously and without prejudice provide for your every need.  Nature will sooth your soul and make your heart sing.”(i)  Lost in the sounds and smells of the woods at night, I stand fast, not wanting to return to that altered reality we call civilization.  I look over my shoulder and see the light coming from the open door.  I have no choice. I must return. As I steel myself for the return nature whispers in my ear “nolite prohibere viventem prius moriatur“.  (Don’t stop living before you die.)